Case #3. Digging out abortion secret!

Chandrashekhar, a concerned legal guardian of his brother-in-law, shared that the latter selected a prospective bride for himself and was almost on the verge of marrying her. At the time of a family union prior to their wedding, Chandrashekhar and his family came to know that the girl is healing from a minor operation. Nonetheless, upon probing the girl’s family seemed too reluctant to share any details about her and subsequently, it raised suspicion.

Chandrashekhar decided to appoint an investigator. Astonishingly, investigation revealed that the girl had an abortion and the doctor had been bribed to bury the hatchet. The private investigator warded off a wrong wedding call at this time.

Hence, the question, “To do or not To do?”, remains lingering in the mind sometimes, once you hear about or experience a challenge yourself. Various valid questions rush into your mind regarding the prospective partner, you have selected to spend the rest of your life with. Are they really who they say they are? Is there anything shameful or sinister in their past that you need to find out? Are they safe enough to bring into your life?

Let us delve deep into the primary question- What is a Pre-Matrimonial Investigation?

The WHY part of Pre-marital Background Investigation:

1. Inquisitiveness/ Curiosity : Curiosity or suspicion, if fed unnecessarily, can take the shape of an evil and grow into a negative beast if not taken care of. Snooping or inquisitive partners always wish to run a background check on their significant other. On the contrary, one might be hitting the right notes in a relationship, but maybe needs one or two things to be examined upon to make it into a perfect harmony and decide accordingly about the future spouse. A complete pre-matrimonial background check seals the deal here.
2. Skepticism/ Doubt : Doubt in a relationship can turn it sour and bitter. Apprehensions might lead to separations as well. Nevertheless, an assurance afterwards a pre-matrimonial investigation, reduces the anxieties and dilemmas of the unknown.
3. Safekeeping : Devoting oneself into a long-term relationship can be daunting and equally contesting. Especially, if one has invested in an incorrect companion. If, as a matter of fact, the potential partner has unexposed past issues, conducting a pre-matrimonial investigation might be the greatest option in hand. The collected data can ensure a comprehensive knowledge about him/her and a secured future union.

Dishonesty and grief can cause irreparable damages and eventually ruin one’s life. Pre-matrimonial Investigations offers a palpable reality to affirm or negate one’s uncertainties and doubts. Conducting a pre-matrimonial or matrimonial background check permits to maintain a relationship with assurance knowing the truth about a partner. On the contrary, it dissolves the web of suspicions and secures one from indulging in lies and deceptions.

Cautionary indications of a possible dishonest partner are:

“A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity” – Dalai Lama.

An essential aspect of any exploratory mission of a relationship is pre-marital investigation. Once you are getting serious in your relationship and intending to upgrade your relationship status, but have certain doubts regarding any issue, it is sensible to get a pre-matrimonial investigation conducted for you and get you secured before entering into a commitment. Or perhaps, you wish to dig out the actual reason behind your partner’s suspicious behaviour which is raising red flags everywhere. Apart from the emotional union that partners create it is crucial to be able to build the foundation of trust and respect.

“Transparency is the antidote to hypocrisy”- Britt Merrick.

Often the power of judgement is clouded by the wave of emotions. In spite of the fact that one knows, the relationship is off the track, it becomes tough to specifically pin point the issue.

A pre-matrimonial investigation is vital here to relieve the anxiety and answer the questions, the mind is clogged with. The sea of confusions can be sailed through easily with a comprehensive Pre-matrimonial Investigation.

A Pre-Matrimonial Investigation Explores the respective avenues:

• Relationship Status : Through a discreet survey the potential individual’s relationship trajectory is observed and evaluated, Especially, his/her whereabouts during weekends and holidays apart from the typical days. A discreet inspection near the residential vicinity is performed by the investigators. By discreetly collecting search results from schools and colleges, attended by the candidate, employment places and even past residences (if any), previous interactions or affairs are explored.
• Marital Status : Previous marriages and divorces : Holding a proper knowledge about your future spouse is a necessary action to perform in order to erase the tension of suspicion whether your partner was married or divorced previously or not. The mind wrecking question of whether you’re would be has been authentic enough in revealing his entire past must not bog you down in taking the final decision. As it is entirely legitimate to want to know the truth about him/her prior to marriage. Since certain public documents can be accessed by investigators, both marriage and divorce histories can be retrieved for a check.Sometimes, concealing a previous marriage brings adverse consequences in the relationship. Under this investigation it is ascertained, whether the potential candidate is already in a marriage or had a past marriage. Primarily, this is examined by following through marriage registration archives with additional relevant existing sources. The possibility and risk of performing a bigamy can be avoided by determining the singlehood status of the prospective partner. At times, it is not unusual to excavate a hidden and concealed information which can eventually lead to a divorce. The purpose for this kind of screening is to find out if the individual is divorced/separated and the cause of separation is clarified if required.

• Abusive Behaviour : Often individuals with a past record of violence, sexual offence and paedophilia get into a marital setup just to display a reputable position in the society. On the contrary, the truth is murkier and hideous. It is never the objective of anyone to be victimised by such an inhuman character in life post marriage. Therefore, it is utterly crucial to establish whether the potential partner has any masked history. A pre-matrimonial investigation could act as a rescuer in such a possible threat.
• Drink or Drug Habits and/or Adverse Habits : One of the primary areas in pre-matrimonial investigations is whether the prospective partner is an extensive drug abuser or an alcohol addict. In this era of online matrimonial platforms where a partner gets selected just on the basis of his/her online profile, it’s not very difficult to hide their wrong habits and substance abuse from their probable partner. Not surprisingly, domestic abusers or people in toxic relationships often have addicts as their counterparts. A pre-matrimonial investigation can prevent any such future occurrences which might affect the life of both.Adverse habits such as extreme smoking, intoxication, substance/drug abuse, betting, prostitution et al. significantly ruin the conjugal life, often ending the relation in separation, divorce or nasty legal battles. Since 2005, it has been surveyed that divorce cases are ascending at a rapid speed due to adverse habits. Under this investigation such habits are discreetly recorded with relevant supportive evidences and facts.In India the developing drug exploitation is shooting from the current rapid economic growth.The HR departments of companies are wary of the increasing substance abuse among individuals which is the potential cause of concern. An increasing number of companies are trying to understand the reasons causing to such a threat. Few companies have not only terminated the drug abusers, even friends and co-workers related to them are kept under firm vigilance.

What is a pre-marital drug test?

A drug test database in pre-matrimonial background investigation secures families from selecting drug consumers, before they can leave any dreadful impact in the marriage. Reputed testing laboratories are collaborated with and worked in sync with the clients to customize and preserve operative and compliant pre-marital drug testing programmes. While conducting such tests the consumer’s right to privacy is ensured. Through a comprehensive facility of drug testing, alcohol testing or physical examinations families will be able to confirm a healthy and more constructive married lives.

• Present or Previous Employment Checks : A thorough investigation is performed on present or previous employment specifics of the prospect, such as, collecting information about the name of the Organization, designation, income detail, job outline, general performance, rapport with colleagues, status and character within the Organization etc. Frequently, it has been found, that the prospective bride/groom inflate their salary or pay package. Furthermore, previous employments are investigated primarily for any breach of due diligence, misconduct, deception, forgery or disciplinary action etc.

• Income & Financial Details of the Prospect and/or family : Apart from discreetly investigating prospect’s possessed assets, residence ownership, vehicles owned, income from one or multiple source/s is discreetly assessed as well. Additionally, concerning obligation and liability in terms of credit, loan, mortgage, debts etc., are checked too. There have been cases where individuals concealed and lied about their economic status and dishonestly lured their partners and their families, with the intention of projecting themselves as wealthy. Generally, in order to obtain acceptance, these individuals project untrue selves of them, gain access to a rich household and manipulate their financial resources. A systematic financial scrutiny of the prospective individual is conducted during a pre-matrimonial investigation, to avoid any such exploitation in the future.

# Dowry and Debt entrapments

Few swindlers or con artists, in order to accomplish financial gain, pile up massive debts and afterwards, try to get married. These wicked people can even bend to the level of physically abusing and tormenting their brides for dowry, with the frantic motive of relieving themselves from their vicious cycle of debts. A pre-matrimonial background investigation can effortlessly expose major financial data relating to the prospective future spouse.

• Family Background : A detail information of the prospect’s family members is collected such as, number of members in the family, their usual behaviour, general attitude, livelihood, profession/occupation, connection with any offensive anti-social or unlawful activity, social status, reputation, relationship with relatives, etc. are explored through a discreet investigation.In the recent scenario it is found that prospective brides request for a check on the character of their potential mothers-in-law. In order to perform this step, lady investigators visit the would-be groom’s residence under appropriate cover-ups like, visiting for rent queries or as college-goers visiting for a project survey. They attempt to communicate with the prospective mother-in-law to find out how she behaves and judges and whether there is a possibility of her being a hostile control freak or any visible abnormality in her general code of conduct.On the contrary, it is noteworthy that a great number of marriages are ending in separations and divorces due the brides mother’s unnecessary interventions and toxic interferences in the relationship. Intriguingly, there are mothers who for better and prospective options pressurize their daughters, who may be earning higher than their counterparts, to end the existing marriage and move on to the next best!

• Social Status : In every society and within every social circle people are perceived very distinctly and exclusively. Under this segment, the social rapport and image of the prospect is checked. In a discreet method relevant information is gathered through effective technique.

• Social Media Status : Numerous brides and grooms with a tensed apprehension of how their future partners would be, are getting the aid of pre-matrimonial investigators to snoop in their future partner’s social media and digital lives. Frequently, the investigators are asked to hack and uncover the prospective partner’s WhatsApp accounts, text messages and call records. According to a TOI report, 70% of the matrimonial investigations are related to pre-marital probe. A vast expanse of an individual’s personality can be sketched out by evaluating their online communications in the virtual world. Even youngsters believe in the fact that a significant amount of insight about an individual can be achieved from that person’s activities in the virtual world. And this awareness is vital to spend the rest of the lives with each other. Requests to dig out social media data like FB inbox exchanges, WhatsApp interactions are surging with the uprising usage of social media. Interestingly, nowadays, the would-be grooms are approaching the investigators to find out if their prospective partners are having an affair or being dishonest with them. The brides generally check on their prospective partners’ job profile, financial position and any prior marriage or present relationships. Before taking the wedding vows it must be checked whether the projected self of the prospect is the real self or not. However, this procedure can never be misused and is avoided where the agenda is just spying or prying. Bringing transparency and facilitating them to get hooked eventually is the primary concern. The virtue of confidentiality is maintained throughout by applying certain efficient modus operandi.

• Personality Traits : An individual’s personality traits are justified by his/her perception, approach, disposition, actions and behaviours. Every individual is unique, having definite ideals, principles, temperament, etc. The variances between individuals’ personalities can be segmented down to five major traits which is often called the “Big Five” personality traits. Each one of these traits mirrors and projects a significant aspect of how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. The Big Five traits are :

• 1. Openness : This pertains to an individual’s open-mindedness, intellectual curiosity, novelty in ideas, creativity and imagination.

  2. Agreeableness : This pertains to an individual’s compassion, respectfulness, sympathetic, conviction.

  3. Extroversion : This pertains to an individual’s sociability, assertiveness and joviality. It is opposite of Introversion.

  4. Conscientiousness : This pertains to an individual’s diligence, productiveness, responsibility, meticulousness, reliability and punctuality.

  5. Neuroticism : This pertains to an individual’s inclinations toward anxiety, stress and depression.

  
  

  Individual personalities are thought to feature each of these five broad traits to some degree. When the traits are measured, some people rate higher and others rate lower. (source- journal by Psychology Today)Various influences, such as, age, education, ethnicity, religious beliefs, attitude, physical appeal, emotional stability, intelligence quotient, socioeconomic standing and personal ethics influence marital satisfaction. Couples can experience greater levels of marital bliss depending on these various factors. Thus, individual’s personality is examined in a precise and judicious manner.Neuroticism appears to be the prime factor in interfering with relationship satisfaction in numerous ways. Whereas, emotional stability is often allied with positive expectations from relationships. According to the research, among the Big Five personality traits, lower levels of emotional stability (high neuroticism) causes an acceleration in relationship instability and the high probability of breakups (Roberts et al., 2007; Solomon and Jackson, 2014). It appears to be that, emotional stability, conscientiousness and agreeableness are the personality traits with the most profound connection to relationship fulfilment.      

• Psychological/ Mental Health Condition : Often, the influence of mental disorders on a couple’s bond has been a disregarded dynamic equally in community avenues and academic theories. Traditionally, people have examined and written about how an individual’s mental illness affects their parents, or conversely, how a parent’s mental illness affects the child.

Nonetheless, for a long period of time it has been surveyed by couple counsellors that individuals with mental illnesses bring negative impacts on their spouses’ mental health. As a consequence of the primary illness in one of the partners, sometimes in a relationship, both the partners battle with conditions that have grown over the period of time. When one or both of the partners is equally wrestling and coping with a mental illness, these damaging emotional responses are frequently increased. Under such situation individuals tend to get disoriented and incline themselves to isolation, alcoholism and drugs to freeze problematic emotions. Sometimes, due to such complicated situations they divert their interest to extramarital encounters. There is a larger probability of drug abuse, divorce and /violence partner assault if the matrimonial strain and burden is at the ultimate.

It can be the supreme source of a lifelong crisis to one if any crucial mental disorder or illness is exposed in a partner post marriage or any other concern with the mental health. Even if any definite behavioural difficulty is diagnosed post marriage, then it can be the reason of conjugal setback.

Couples often begin to emotionally and physically detach themselves from each other when their relationship is under any trauma or anxiety. Avoiding each other becomes the norm and interaction remains limited and strained. The basic quality of bonding is lost and they are left with despair only.

• Physical/Medical Status : A blissful and steady family is established on the framework of a healthy marriage, that can protect the family members from genetic and contagious ailments. Based on a couples’ health and overall well-being. The equation between couple based on physical compatibility can be effortlessly evaluated. But along with the ecstasy of the approaching wedding, one of the essential factors is often ignored, that is, a pre-matrimonial health check-up.

In this article, we will explain its importance and its connotation with Article 21 of the Constitution of India. Partners who have thought of tying the knot, go under a pre-marital health screening, that assesses their health and notifies them about their current health condition. Through this screening even potential health issues can be detected, that may compromise their spouse and children and put their lives in danger if they try to create a family in the future. Hence, it is essential to investigate for any concerning health issues a partner may have. Significantly, due to these factors a large number of people are showing keen interest these days, in pre-matrimonial health screening. Within a couple, a Premarital health examinations (PHEs) can avert transmission of STDs (sexually transmitted infections), diagnosing reproductive conditions or genetic or hereditary disorders that may be transferred into their offspring. A blood test prior to marriage will avoid any hereditary, contagious or infectious diseases to a partner or future children.

The celebrated saying Health is wealth has remained to be a golden formula for a happy and a prosperous life. If any vital underlying health issue is concealed by one of the partners, just out of the fear of dropping the relationship, then it is bound to have serious repercussions later. However, getting a medical condition and health status checks, of the couples, done not only mitigates the probability of physical illnesses but psychological disorders as well. Only a private investigator can disclose a situation, where one of the partners is burying a severe mental disorder, so that the other partner involved can make an informed decision of a lifelong commitment.

Each individual’s medical condition and its probable effect on a relationship is acquainted through Pre-Matrimonial Check-up.

The importance of a Pre-Matrimonial check-up is to ensure the following aspects: